Confessions of A LoveStruck Shadowhunter
by Madame-Bovary-was-framed
Summary: Wondering how the rest of Jace and Clary's younger days together went? Well this is some main events that I've concocted. Fluffy and dramatic here and there but some action and angst. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- Thanks to the wonders of Three Days Grace followed by Muse, I was inspired to write this (BIG HEARTWARMING SMILE HERE). This takes place after City of Glass. **

**Disclaimer- as always, the answer is no.**

Jace's POV

Even as I lay here on the bed with Clary solidly in my arms, I still couldn't escape the pain that had haunted me ever since I had told her a solid 'No' at Taki's a few weeks before.

Over and over, I had fallen for this girl, only for fate to throw it back into my face and laugh. It brought me down but I was the one to blame- I shouldn't have fallen for her in the first place.

Yet the first time I met her was the first time I had truly felt alive.

So I had chased after her, risking my neck for her, yet nothing good had come out of it. I fell for her only to find out that the most beautiful person on this dimension, the one I loved whole-heartedly, was my sister.

After that, everyday had felt the same: the constant anger for no reason, the longings for her, and the pain of watching her moving on with another guy. It got me down and I couldn't pull out of it. If it was what she wanted, well then I would give it to her. But I couldn't seem to move on, she didn't have to even try to make me fall for her; I just did. Yet I never stopped trying to find some sort of loophole so I could have her once more.

And what was worse, I saw the affects that my brooding had on her. So despite my best efforts, I gave her what she wanted most out of me, so she said,- a brother.

I knew it was the best thing for her, and me for that matter, but I wanted her instead. I knew I was wasting my time, but I kept hoping sometime, somehow, things would change.

I tried and failed again. I had made her hate me, made her think I didn't like her anymore, only I came running back for more. All I wanted was her. It was like the Angel was punishing me constantly.

And then the sun shone through the very thick clouds.

She wasn't my sister after all.

All that lost time. All the pain I had put her, the people around me and myself through, it was all for nothing. I just wish the truth had been there from the start.

But I felt happy. Happy that I was finally free of my bindings; happy that she still wanted me, and happy that the girl of my dreams was safely wrapped in my arms and she had no hope of me loosening my hold on her.

Clary stirred beside me. "Jace?"

'Sleep, love, you had a hard day.' And she had. She had received her first permanent Mark today, one that gave her impeccable balance, and she had sparred with me all afternoon testing it. She had exhausted her energy supply doing it, although.

''Kay.' She snuggled up closer to my chest, sighing.

Our hardships were over and we could finally be together, happily as we should.

'I love you,' I whispered into her ear.

But she had already drifted back to sleep, her mess of red curls spread all over the pillow.

I kissed the top of her head, and drifted into a peaceful sleep with my angel by my side.

**A/N- One shot (maybe) - Ask and you might receive. Review please :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- A big THANK YOU to all those who commented (especially love. to. read. smiles for all the ideas! Smiley face for yooh! :D). I have decided to make this a series of "reflections" on events in Jace and Clary's life. So this is Clary's deep and meaningful summary / story a few years on from the last chapter. (WOO!)**

**Disclaimer- You should know the deal by now. **

CPOV

The breeze filled the curtains and swept the smell of the exotic flowers outside into the kitchen. Idris was perfection. The morning sky was so blue it could match a sapphire's beauty. As I stood over the sink looking out the window, a soft pair of hands wrapped around my waist.

'Morning.' Jace kissed the top of my head and rested his chin there, still holding me in a comforting embrace.

Through all the hardships Jace and I had been through, we were lucky to be here today.

From the moment I had met Jace at the nightclub, I knew he was different from all the other boys I had met. None of them had made a lasting impression as he did.

Corny as it may seem, Jace did have a soft nougaty centre inside that tough shell of his. I was the only one to fully penetrate it.

And I was the only one who could make him feel destroyed.

Even after our meeting with Valentine for the first time, which had blew away any hopes of us being together, I still loved him.

I tried to move on. I made myself susceptible to Simon's feelings, trying to distract myself from Jace, but somehow I couldn't. He was always on my mind. Maybe, somehow, I had known it all along that we were meant to be together. Yet I didn't want him to become an outcast of his own family.

We tried and failed at having a normal relationship as siblings. I soon found it was impossible to be together but it was unbearable to be apart from him. The dilemma between right and wrong was killing me. Although I hated myself for doing it, I put my feelings aside and rejected him.

I knew I was lying to myself but I had to try.

There was no reason to however.

After all that pain, struggle and trauma I had put myself and everyone else through, it turned out that Jace, my Jace, was not related to me after all. He took me back with open arms, although I didn't deserve it.

No matter how much he tried to convince me, I still felt the pain I had caused him by my rejection. But Jace meant the world to me, and I was never letting go of that. He was mine as much as I was his. Nothing could be done to change that. The trials and sufferings we had faced had only made us stronger.

Even after 3 years together, our love had never lessened. I mean, we still had the occasional argument over insignificant things, but other than that life went on as it should: smoothly.

After Valentine's death, we lived together at the Institute for a year. But it didn't feel as homey after seeing Idris not to mention it was a bit crowded; both Mum and Luke visited often, that is if often meant every day.

I couldn't stand having no private time, so I talked the issue of moving to Idris over with Jace and the rest of my adoptive family.

Jace was all for it; he wanted to leave as much as I did. The rest of the family was tougher to face with the issue but they agreed to it surprisingly. The only condition was that I finished my schooling first. I didn't see it as an issue as I only had a term or two to go.

After school was finished, Jace and I packed up our belongings, caught a portal to Idris and stayed at the Lightwood's manor out in the country until we could afford a house of our own.

That wasn't hard however.

A month or two after arriving in Idris, the Clave tracked me down regarding my father's will. Valentine's assets had been written down to be given to my mother and my brother at the time of the Uprising and since it hadn't been updated recently, all of his assets had been given to me as my mother had refused her share and Jonathan was missing presumed dead.

Let's just say that what he owned was worth quite a lot. It was enough that Jace and I planned to build our own big house not far from Alicante. I wanted something modern that reminded me of New York yet Jace wanted it to have some traditional qualities that most manors had, so with the help of my mother I designed the blueprints for our house and it was standing 3 months later.

We had lived here ever since. Even though it was big enough for 4 families to live in, I found the space comforting. I decorated and cleaned the rooms to exceptional standard that Jace asked me if we were expecting visitors anytime soon.

I must have zoned out for a while because I had only just realised he was talking.

'Earth to Clary?'

'Yea?' I turned around in his arms and twined my arms up around his neck.

'I was just saying did you want to go on picnic down by the river today? I want to do something. Don't worry; I got everything ready last night.'

'Okay. I didn't have anything planned as yet anyway.' I looked up into his tawny eyes. They were wide with excitement. I knew something was up.

I reached up and pressed my lips to his gently, but he wasn't having that. He wrapped his arms tighter around my waist and put more force into the kiss. I pulled away after a few moments; as much as I wanted to stay like this forever, I had to get dressed and ready for this outing he had planned without my help.

I smiled up at him. 'I got to go get ready if you want me to come on this picnic of yours.'

Jace wore a smug look on his face. 'You go do that then. Just don't take a shower, you'll take forever.'

I stuck my tongue out at him and waltzed out of his grasp. As I walked towards the door, I turned to look at him. The smile on his face made him look more like an angel than anyone had the right to.

*****

The weather was just as perfect as it had looked from inside.

I was lying beside Jace, my head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped tightly around me. The picnic he had made us was basic but surprisingly good.

'So, what was it that you wanted to do?' I asked looking up at him upside down. Jace's eyes looked for a moment.

'Pardon?'

I sat up on my elbows to look at him straight. 'Back at the house you said you wanted to do something.'

Comprehension dawned in his eyes. 'Oh right!' He stood up pulling me up with him. 'C'mon, let's go for a walk.'

'Okay.'

We walked hand-in-hand along the riverbank, watching the wind play the overhanging branches above it. As i gazed around appreciative of the surrounding beauty, Jace kept his eyes on me. We didn't talk; we exchanged smiles now and then when I met his glance.

We stopped at a wooden seat at the river's edge. Jace sat down and drew me onto his lap. We sat there in silence, staring out at the river for immeasurable amount of time. Eventually Jace broke the silence.

'Clary, we've been together for 3 years now. You do realise that?'

I looked up at him. He was never one to talk about our relationship like this.

'Yea...?' I was wary and a little curious to see where this conversation was going. He continued on regardless of my expression.

'Well I'm not sure how to put this so here.' Jace reached up pulled out a dark blue box out of inner pocket of his jacket. My jaw dropped about a mile as he handed it to me. I stared up at him shocked, no words emitting from my mouth, yet on the inside I was screaming, 'Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!' And that was before I had even opened the box!

Jace was smiling as I slowly opened it. There, nestled in dark velvet, was a ring with a large diamond centred by two emeralds set in it.

My hand flew up to cover my mouth. It was gorgeous. 'Jace...'

He slid me off his lap and went down on one knee in front of me. 'Clarissa Morgenstern, will you marry me?' His expression was hopeful, his blonde curls falling in front of his shining eyes.

I was lost for words; this I hadn't expected.

'Oh my God, Jace, yes!' I started laughing out of pure shock. A broad smile spread across his features. I held out my left hand and he slid the ring on my 3rd finger.

He stretched up and pressed his lips to mine. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around his neck and knotted my fingers through his gold hair. Our lips moved in sync with each others. One of his hands tightened around my waist, while the other was pressed up against the small of my back, drawing me lower down to him.

When we finally broke away, I leaned my forehead against his, catching my breath.

'I love you,' he whispered. His right hand traced the scars of previous Marks that covered my arms. My skin tingled under the slight, tickling pressure.

'I love you, too.' And I meant it. Nobody had meant more to me than Jace and I was more than willing to spend the rest of my life with him.

**A/N- Sorry if Clary's story was not as good as Jace's; surprisingly I find him easier to relate to. Yet do not give up hope I say! There's another Jace chapter in the works. (*cheer*) Any ideas for future events for them would be greatly appreciated. Review, review, review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N- Just keep rolling... If your still liken' this story, I must be doing well. OMG sorry if this too long to update! Thanks to all those who reviewed, subscribed to alerts and favourited this story. **

**Disclaimer- Gah. **

JPOV

New York.

Eww.

I mean I loved the rush of the city and how modern it was, but once you had lived in Idris for over 2 years the smell and pollution really got on your nerves.

Yet I had to come back. Clary had asked me if she could go to see her mother and I wasn't prepared to let her go alone, not after what we had been through with the whole Valentine-and-Sebastian-issue.

I knew why she really wanted to go however.

Izzy had called her a few days ago. I was walking past the kitchen while she was on the phone and randomly caught the words 'hen night'. Curious, I listened on.

Apparently, as it sounded, Izzy was trying to argue Clary into a night out at a club down in New York with her, claiming it was time they catch up and that Clary needed to spend time in female company.

Not that I didn't agree with her- Clary needed to catch up with Izzy; Clary was missing Izzy as much Izzy was missing her. But I wasn't prepared to let Clary out of my sight; even if she was with another Shadowhunter.

I couldn't afford to lose her again.

So, here I was, standing in the bird-cage like elevator waiting for it to groan all the way to the second floor of the Institute. Seriously, I don't know how it could take so much weight- Clary had packed about a month's worth of clothes for just a few days.

'You've been quiet,' Clary noted, turning to me.

'Mm? Yeah, I've just been thinking a lot that's all.' She puckered her lips slightly in thought.

'And what have you been thinking about that distracts you so much from the outside world?' She quizzed.

I smiled and took her in my arms. 'You.' She looked up at me with adorable eyes, and returned my smile.

'Aww. I love you, too, Jace.' She stood up on tip-toe to press her lips to mine, softly, and then pulled away.

'Afraid of an audience, my dear?' I bent over and whispered in her ear. She just chuckled; at the same time the elevator notified us that we had stopped.

I pushed the doors back and looked down the hallway. Good, nobody had noticed we had arrived yet.

Letting out a sigh, I bent down to pick up the large suitcases only to be tackled, off guard, by a blur of black hair.

'Oh my God! Jace your back!' Isabelle shrieked. 'Oh my God! Mum! Dad! Alec! Jace and Clary are back! Oh my God!' She repeated.

'It's nice to see you too, Iz,' I said, hugging her back. Izzy hadn't changed one bit- still the same old over-enthusiastic person she'd always been.

Footsteps approached us from down the hall. Alec came into view first. His hair was shorter than last time I'd seen him, not to mention it was spiked up at the back and traces of glitter throughout. Looks like meek little Alec had gone under the influence of Magnus, his magic scissors and vast glitter supply.

'Hey bro! Long time, no see huh?' he said, giving me a manly hug and a pound on the back.

'Yeah. It's been too long,' I said, smiling.

Mayrse in all her willowy grace, swept down the hall next, followed by Robert's tall and stocky figure; only the sparse gray streaking his hair showed any sign of him aging.

I shook his hand and Mayrse gave me a short hug.

'I'm so glad you came to visit,' she said after she let me go.

'Jaaaaaacccccccce... What's this?'

I turned to Izzy. After she had finished greeting me, she had moved on to Clary. And now she was holding up Clary's left hand, closely examining it. She looked up at me, one eyebrow raised. Meanwhile Clary was blushing and giving me a look to say '_You didn't tell them?'._

Okay, I may have slipped up in that field.

'What is it, Iz?' Alec said quizzically over her shoulder. His mouth fell open at the sight of it.

Izzy was the one to break the silence first.

'Oh my God! You proposed?! Oh my God!'

Geez, how many times did the woman have to use the Lord's name in vain to get a point across!?

'Yep!'Clary answered, the excitement filling her voice.

She danced around with Izzy for a time while the others congratulated me, and then Clary when the pair had finally calmed down from their girly excitement.

I motioned to Alec to give Clary and Izzy some space and take the bags out of the hall. He picked up one of the suitcases and I the other, and we went to dump them in my old room.

It looked the same as it always had: spotless, no clutter whatsoever. Only a double bed had replaced my old single one.

Alec groaned as he put the bag down. 'What the hell is weighing so much in this bag,' he complained.

I gave him a meaningful look. He rolled his eyes, catching on.

'Clary,' he muttered, 'What is it with girls and going over excessive on the clothes?'

'Must be genetic,' I murmured under my breath.

*****

The tap turned off with a squeak; my eyes opened with a jerk. I'd been on the verge of sleep, the time difference still had me, until Clary had decided to take a shower.

We had had a big day.

After Clary and I had arrived at the Institute this morning, we had been kept on our toes. I'd trained with Clary for a few hours after lunch and then later we had gone out for dinner with Jocelyn, Luke, Magnus and the Lightwood's down at Taki's.

After all that conversation, laughter and food, Clary and I returned to the Institute early, leaving the others to be entertained by Alec and Magnus who were seeing how many shots they could down before they couldn't walk straight. They were up to 5 each when we left.

The squeal of the bathroom door sliding open made my eyes wander towards it. Clary emerged from the shadows.

'Sorry, did I wake you?'

I patted the bed beside me and she came and sat on the edge of it, looking tired.

'Yea, but it doesn't matter. I only see you in my dreams so there's not much difference between my subconscious and reality.'

She smiled at my words. The moonlight coming in through the window lit up her pale complexion and made her look as if she was glowing. Her green eyes caught mine as I stared at her.

God she was beautiful.

'What?' She asked.

The corners of my mouth twitched. 'Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you in my life.'

She shook her head in amusement and got up to close the curtains but she wasn't quick enough. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back onto the bed with me. The bed groaned as we flopped back onto it. Clary was giggling.

'Jace...' she said, rolling her eyes.

'What? I like it when the curtains are open,' I said, trying to look solemn.

She laughed again and I couldn't help smiling.

She rested her head on my chest and sighed.

'I love you, Jace. I don't know what I would be without you.' I laced my fingers through hers and kissed the top of her head.

'Love you, too, Clary.'

But she was already out like a light.

'Other men said they have seen angels, but I have seen you and you are enough,' I quoted, whispering in her unhearing ear, 'Goodnight, my love.'

**A/N- after going back and reading this, i was laughing. I can't believe i mentioned Magnus and his glitter!! Mind you, i have some bad experiences with the stuff. Any way, please review as always and i hoped you liked the chapter. Just a hint: Jace's going to get protective over Clary's night out. Stay tuned! (Gosh, i sound like a tv.) Later!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- Here's the next chapter. Sorry if it took longer- the middle wasn't flowing as much as I wanted it to. The quote below is something I found that reminded me of Jace and Clary. This is for Steph (aka love. to. read. smiles) who's been there since the beginning. Btw, set your music to 'Here without you' by Three Doors Down- it goes well with this chapter, you know, with me having a Jace persona and all. Oh and 'Differently' by Cassie Davis and 'Waking up in Vegas' by Katy Perry for the club scene. **

**Disclaimer- Last time I checked, I wasn't Cassie Clare. No, WAIT! Nope, still me. **

*********

"Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze." Unknown

*********

**J****POV**

The car door slammed shut. The noise echoed through my head... as was the parting words I had shared with Clary.

*********

_I was eating leftover mu shu pork when Clary walked into the kitchen, unaware that I was sitting at the table by the window._

_My mouth dropped a mile when I saw her._

_Contrasting with her bright hair, she wore a short emerald that hugged her curves and showed off a fair amount of cleavage when she bent down to tie the straps of her heels up her ankles. _

_I ghosted over to her, startling her._

'_Jeez, Jace, you scared me,' she said, raising a hand over her heart. 'You'd think after nearly 4 years, I'd be used to you sneaking up on me.'_

_I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her tightly. 'You look absolutely stunning, if I may be so bold.'_

_She smiled, reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck. 'You may.'_

'_That's what I thought.' I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers gently. The kiss became more urgent and her hands creeped up under my shirt, her fingers tracing random patterns across my chest._

_I could hear Izzy striding down the hall towards us and so did Clary. _

_She pulled away too soon for my liking. _

_Izzy popped her head around the corner. 'C'mon Clary, It's time we went. I'll meet you downstairs'_

_I looked back at Clary. 'You know, I'd prefer if you'd stay here and not go out.'_

_She rolled her eyes. 'I'm going- whether you like it or not,' she said, trying to persuade me, 'Firstly, I promised Izzy I would go. Secondly, you're just being overprotective. I can take care of myself for one night at least without you watching over.'_

_She wriggled out of my grasp to grab her purse. 'Anyway i have to go. Night Jace; I'll see you when I get home.' She gave me a quick kiss and bounced off after Isabelle. _

_I poked my head outside the kitchen, just in time to see her get into the elevator. She pressed the down button and upon seeing me, she kissed her fingertips and waved them at me as she descended._

*********

Tonight was the night I had been dreading for the past few days.

Clary was off to some nightclub called _Dusk_ with Isabelle for some quality 'girl time'. However, this meant she was out of my reach; I couldn't protect her tonight as much as I could.

Although I did have some stern words to Izzy about keeping her safe while they went out.

Well, they were more along the lines of a few pleading sentences followed by a threat.

I sighed and walked down the empty corridor. I felt more alone than I had since I had met my angel.

Robert had left for Idris with Mayrse on short notice, and Alec was over at Magnus' tonight, so it was just me and Church tonight.

I wandered down the hall and opened the door to my old bedroom. Clary's scent hit me as soon as I sat on the large bed; it was imprinted all over the room even though we had only been here a few days.

I tried to preoccupy myself, moving from my bed to sit by the window, but Clary remained constantly at the top of my thoughts. A pit in my stomach continued to evolve as the minutes ticked by and a million thoughts were running through my head.

_What was she doing? _

_Who was she dancing with?_

_Was she okay?_

That was it. I went to wardrobe and pulled on a leather jacket and ran towards the elevator. I had to check if my angel was okay. As much as I wanted to give her freedom, I couldn't bear the dreading feeling that if she got hurt I hadn't been there to protect her.

I couldn't get to the night club fast enough. It seemed to take forever for the elevator to arrive and to descend again with me anxiously tapping my foot on the golden metal floor. The five minutes it took for the subway to arrive at the station was also painstakingly long.

As I sat on the train, I thought what I would do when I got to the night club. Would I sit in some far corner and just watch her? Or would I approach her and make up some excuse how I couldn't be without her for half a night?

I was never the type to come out and tell people my reasons, so I opted for the first.

*********

When the train finally reached my stop, I sprinted up the stairs to the street above. I looked around for the night club; I was pretty sure Izzy said something about the club being near the subway.

It was kind of hard to miss actually.

There was coloured light streaming out the door and a luminated sign hung above it, stating the word 'Dusk' and flickering irregularly.

There also happened to be a long line outside the club. Knowing that Isabelle would have already charmed her way into the club, I whipped out my Steele and Marked myself with a rune that concealed me from mundane eyes.

I squeezed past the large bouncer though to the swaying mass inside.

In the crowd of blacks, pinks, greens and various other vibrant colours, I couldn't see Clary's flaming hair anywhere. The floor thudded with the heavy bass while I squirmed my way through the crowd, looking for any sign of Isabelle or Clary.

I was about to give up when I saw her.

Clary was sitting at the bar.

With another man.

I growled and I was overcome by a wave of jealousy.

He was good-looking: black hair, dimples and tough; his muscles tightening his shirt on his arms and chest.

Even though I knew he had nothing on me, he didn't love Clary as I did, yet that did nothing for my ego as she sat there talking animatedly to him like she had known him her whole life.

How could Clary sit there, laughing at everything that punk said, while he was running his hand up and down her thigh.

His intentions were clear to me.

He leaned over and whispered something Clary's ear. She giggled and nodded in response and let him lead her away from the bar.

I swear my mouth dropped a mile as she took his hand. I cringed as he put a hand on the small of her back, which dropped lower and lower as they neared a dark corner out of my sight.

I swear to the Angel, she must be drunk otherwise she wouldn't be doing this.

Why else would Clary, my Clary, be looking as if she couldn't get her hands on this guy fast enough?

I knew Clary knew better.

Yet, she continued to tempt that bastard into that private shadow.

I walked around the swaying mob to get a better view of the shadow where the pair was headed. Clary pulled him closer to her by the hem of his shirt only for him to press himself against her, backing her right up against the wall.

As he moved his hands up and down Clary's waist, my teeth ground against each other and my fists bunched.

How could she? Was she planning to cheat on me while she thought I had left my guard down? My blood boiled at the thought.

Yet it wasn't Clary I was truly angry with; I could never be angry with her.

It was the bastard that was feeling her up.

As she wrapped her leg around his and he pressed his lips her collarbone, I had had it.

I stalked across the coloured floor, a fierce look across my face. People moved out of my path as they caught sight of me.

They knew whoever I was angry with, had hell to pay.

I was less than a metre away when Clary suddenly opened her eyes with a sudden determination I had never seen. Her lip turned up in rage and her fingers suddenly clenched the unsuspecting male's shoulders.

And then, with sudden force, her knee came in contact with the guy's balls.

Even I had to flinch at that.

As the unfortunate guy, wincing in pain, sunk to the ground, Clary started to shriek at him.

'WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? You have no right to prey on innocent girls like that. I saw right through you the minute you asked me to dance. So I decided to play along and give you a little taste of your own medicine.'

And with that, she spun on her heel.

'Wait!' the player pleaded weakly.

'I hope I satisfied your _needs_ tonight, _Cal_,' she spat back at him.

And what was I doing through this whole conversation?

Oh I was standing awe as my girl just taught that bastard, Cal, never to mess with a chick with red hair and an attitude.

What was I doing, standing here like a stunned mullet?

I raced after Clary as she headed for the door. I grabbed her arm just as she reached the door.

'And what do you think you're doing here Jace?' Clary said. She didn't even have to look around to see it was me.

'I saw what you did and I have to say-'

But she cut me off before I could say anymore.

'Yes I know you were there. I saw you the minute you entered the club. And you know what else? I took that guy down in front of you to prove my point- I can take of myself.'

Obviously, her bad mood had not passed yet.

'I didn't-'

'I don't care Jace. Just leave me alone.'

'Clary...'

She shrugged my hand off her shoulder.

'Just friggin' leave me alone Jace. I'm sick of being treated like I'm some little dainty object to be kept in a gold box and every one making up my mind for me. And by the Angel, I am friggin' sick of it. So just piss off for a while so I can figure out what I'm going to do with me.'

Clary swept off in a sort of sadful huff leaving me with my mouth looking very much like a gaping chasm.

What did I just do?

I knew I never should have come; I had only made things worse for myself. I had made Clary hate me for trying to do what I thought was best for her. It's not that I didn't trust her- I didn't trust the world that we lived in and the dangers in it; I just couldn't let anything hurt Clary.

Not only would she be in pain, but so would I.

And if I ever lost her, heaven forbid, I would be lost.

She was my light, my point of hope, that I looked to when things went dark for me and I needed her.

I resigned with a sigh and my shoulders hunched over as I walked towards the door.

I would wait until she got home to apologise to her.

I looked back towards the crowd.

Clary was nowhere to be seen.

**A/N- Awww Poor Jace- Personally, I think he deserves a big hug. **

**Jace- Really?**

**MBWF- GASP! :O What are you doing here? You're supposed to be...umm, not here...? **

**Jace- HA! I can do what I want.**

**MBWF- True. I can't argue with that.**

**Jace- That's cause girls know what's best for them, hence they don't argue with me.**

**MBWF- Except for Clary. You can be such an idiot sometimes!! *hands on hips***

**Jace- *pout* Thanks. **

**MBWF- Naww I'm sorry. *hug***

**Jace- *hug back* so you should be.**

**MBWF- Anyways... I will try and update soon. Toodles! **

**Jace- Later! [I really don't know how MBWF knows me better than Clary, seeming she also is a girl and all. And she thinks I'm the idiot. Pft!] **

**MBWF- O.o [Ps. If you review, I might just tell Jace...]**

**Jace- WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS CLOSED CAPTIONING!!! *pulls out knife***

**MBWF- You started it [lol...] Now put that knife away before you impail someone with it. Bye for now peeps! :D**

**Jace- See ya.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Here is the feel good make up of the year. Okay maybe that's an exaggeration but meh. A big thank you for to 'Don't Trust Me' by 3Oh!3 for the bar scene starter. Clary might talk a little dirtier at the start than usual- just a warning. Let the fluffiness begin!**

CPOV

The amber liquid inside the glass bottle was moving.

Maybe that was due to the fact that my fingers were shaking as I held the beer between my palms tentatively.

I shouldn't have yelled at Jace. He hadn't deserved it. Maybe it was because I was so worked over Cal being a pretentious prick and trying to get me into bed with him. He would have had to be delusional if he had ever seen me as a naive young girl ready to just let any guy in her pants.

Jace wasn't like him however. He had only made his way to the club to look out for me, not to hook up with some chick and then screw her after one dance.

He had been worried about _me_.

No matter how much I had accepted that I wasn't the first girl he had gone out with or the fact that he attracted almost every girl's eye upon entering the subway, I knew that he cared for only for me now.

The proof? He had asked me to marry him. Now if that isn't proof, I don't know what is.

I looked around me. The club was packed. Groups of two or more people were dancing along to the techno beats, while the occasional couple retreated to a secluded area.

Looking down the bar, people went two-by-two's: girl, boy; girl, boy; girl, boy; boy, boy; girl, boy; girl, girl _and_ boy. Okay, rephrase-there were also a few threesomes as well as couples. Drinks of all shapes, colours and sizes were being passed down the line by a guy who looked more like a drag queen than a bartender.

And then there was me.

Just another girl alone at the bar.

All I could think about was Jace. I had vented my anger over Cal on him when I shouldn't have. I had just wanted to prove that I could look after myself, but it had turned out pear shaped. I had over reacted at him for being precautious.

I bit my lip. I hoped I hadn't hurt him so much that he felt that I didn't love him anymore.

Because that was a lie.

I loved Jace with all my heart. I was lucky, unlike the girl's who I had gone to school with who got infatuated over some obnoxious guy only to get their heart broken and put on a few kilos from all the chocolate consumed in their 'therapy' sessions, I had found my perfect man. It wasn't without complications although.

Now, I wasn't saying Jace was obnoxious at times, it was who he was, but I had opened up a softer side of him that hardly anybody else saw.

I took another sip of my beer and placed it back on the bench.

I had to get home to apologize to Jace.

I squeezed through the mob, my feet getting stepped on now and then and body glitter stuck to me as I rubbed someone's shoulder. I had to get of here- the claustrophobia was getting to me.

I finally made the door and pushed it open, the cool night air biting at my bare legs. I walked as fast as I could wearing stilettos-except Izzy, she could sprint flat out in them- to the subway.

I was lucky. I only had to wait a few minutes for the train to arrive. I sat by myself in the far corner of the third car, texting Iz to explain where I had rushed off to.

Her reply came a few moments later.

_Aww Clare! K- I'll be home soon. Izzy xx._

Well at least she sympathised with me. I sighed and waited for the train to reach my stop.

*****

There was no crowd waiting for the train when it arrived. And since there were no crowds, I easily made my way to stairs. The only problem was climbing the stairs. The heels limited my hurrying and constantly made me stumble. Halfway, I gave up and yanked the shoes off and carried them as I ran, the long straps tickling the back of my leg as I went.

Four years ago, I would have tired of this pace by the first block, but now after rigorous training I kept running full ball all the way back to the Institute.

Normally, this would short of distance would only be a warm-up to me, but tonight it was a tremendous feat because I did it in a very short dress without flashing anyone.

Now, that was an achievement.

Pretty soon, those familiar gothic spires loomed up in front of me. A large pit had formed in my stomach as I neared the Institute.

What would I say to him? That I was sorry?

I placed my hand on the magnificent doors that marked the entry to the church.

"In the name of the Angel, I, Clarissa Morgenstern, ask entry to this holy place."

The doors flung wide as I spoke the final word and I rushed up past the altar to the birdcage-like elevator. I could hardly contain the rush buzzing through my veins that was begging me to get to Jace as I pulled back the doors and slowly ascended.

When it finally came to a groaning stop, I rushed down the hall, going around in aimless circles, listening for any signs of movement. I was so intent on listening for footsteps, I jumped as something hairy brushed up against my leg.

"Jeez, Church, you gave me a scare."

The cat just purred happily. He had become quite attached to me as the years had passed.

Seeing Church gave me an idea.

I picked up the fat blue Persian and scratched him behind the ears. He purred in satisfaction.

"Can you take me to Jace please?" I said, cooing to the cat.

Church jumped out of my arms and padded off down the hall and I quickly jogged to catch up with him. Obviously the cat was in favour of helping me tonight.

We soon stopped outside the libraries great doors. I mouthed a 'thank you' to Church and he wandered off contently.

I took a deep breath and meekly opened one of the oak doors.

From a glance, you wouldn't have noticed Jace but after a harder look, his golden hair was just visible above the armchair, shining in the firelight.

The door clicked behind me as I quietly shut the door. I winced.

Jace moved as fast as lightning. One moment, he had his back to me in the chair, the next he had done a backward flip over the chair, landing facing me with a blade drawn from his boot. A fierce look was painted upon his face.

It faulted, however, and moved into lines of sadness upon recognising me.

"Oh, It's just you," he said, lightly, leaning down and re-sheathing his knife in his boots.

I smiled timidly. "Hi."

He started to turn away but I caught his arm.

"Listen, Jace, about tonight. I shouldn't have lashed out at you like that. My temper got to my head. I-"

"No, Clary, you listen. I shouldn't have gone. I should have trusted that you could handle yourself and if not, Isabelle was there to assist. Sometimes I have trouble recognising who you are now from the inexperienced sixteen year old you were when I first met you. But you're not who you used to be. I mean, look at you! You've fought demons and came out of it without a scratch, you helped bring down your own father, and hell, you've even grown taller and stronger! I underestimate who you are as a fighter not as a person. And because of that, I feel the need to constantly put myself between you and anything that intends harm. I'm sorry, Clary, I should have trusted that you were safe. I'm sorry for being over protective. I'm sorry for letting you down."

I stood there, speechless. Words were beyond me and my thoughts were incoherent.

Jace had basically just poured his heart and soul out to me, apologizing profusely with so much passion I could feel the tears prickling at the edges of my eyes.

I moved to close the gap between us and threw my arms around his torso, burying my head into his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Jace," I said shakily, trying not to cry.

I felt him bury his face in my hair and his arms wind around my waist.

"I'm sorry, too, Clary." I looked up at him yet I couldn't look into his eyes. I knew once I saw them I would burst into tears. Yet I couldn't seem to help myself.

He was looking at me with so much love it was immeasurable. My tears brimmed over and started to spill down my cheeks. I ducked my head to hide my weakness.

"Hey," Jace whispered. He guided my head up with two fingers under my chin. He bought his other hand away from my waist and brushed the tears away with his thumb.

"Great, now you must think I'm some sort of silly girl who goes around crying at anything that brings her down." I shook my head in disgust.

"No," he disagreed, "You are the most beautiful, most unselfish Shadowhunter I have ever met. And I wouldn't give you up for the world."

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine gently. The tears continued to leak unwillingly from my eyes as Jace kissed me. When we finally broke apart, he kissed away the drops of saltwater from my cheeks.

"I-"

But Jace put a finger to my lips. "Shh," he whispered.

He kissed me again, his lips a soft pressure on mine. I wrapped my arms around his hard neck and pulled myself up a bit so he didn't have to lean down to kiss me so much. His hands became fists in my hair and my lips parted with his.

Without breaking our embrace, he scooped me up bridal style and carried me over to the armchair he had been sitting in earlier.

"Getting in a bit of practice for the big day," I said smiling against his lips.

He just chuckled as he sat back in the chair, leaving me sitting on his lap. I tucked my head in the crook of his neck, embracing the moment of happy silence between us as we gazed into the fire.

"I'm going to miss New York when we leave tomorrow," I said.

And I meant it. I was going to miss my sister of sorts, Isabelle and her classy yet sexy fashion sense. I would miss Alec, my quiet yet compassionate friend who was close enough to be my brother and his sparkling boyfriend, Magnus, whose crazy humour always got me laughing. I would miss my mother and Luke as well as Mayrse and Robert who were like my adopted parents now Jace and I had finally worked out.

The only people I hadn't seen this trip was Simon and Maia. Apparently they were together now, having overcome the minor matter of them being mortal enemies. However, I could see that Izzy was missing Simon's company. They had become close after Max's passing in Idris four years ago and it didn't take a genius to figure out that there was something more than friendship between them. Maybe Simon had told her they couldn't be together because for one he would never age like her, and two, he was a Downworlder and she was a respected Nephilim.

However, love was never easy.

And Jace and I were a perfect example of that.

"Don't worry 'bout it, Liss. It's not like we're never going to come back," he said, kissing my forehead. Jace only called me Liss or Lissa when he was trying to calm me, yet it worked. He wrapped one of his arms around my back and wove his fingers through mine with his free hand.

"I know. But still."

Jace kissed my fingertips.

"We'll visit and I'm sure that the Lightwood's and your mother will drop by when they're in Idris. Why are you worrying anyway? You were never one to worry over small, insignificant details."

I shook my head.

"Nah, just thinking. You and your bigass mouth will be enough company for me."

Jace raised an eyebrow. Gah, why couldn't I do that!?

"And which of the two meanings are you referring too? My kickass attitude or the fact you just like kissing me?"

I stretched up and kissed him quickly.

"Both," I said smiling, my lips brushing his slightly as I spoke.

He chuckled. "I knew it."

A bang in the distance alerted us to the fact that someone had arrived home.

"C'mon," Jace said, sliding me gracefully off his lap but retained his hold on my hand, "Time we got to bed. We need our energy to withstand all those goodbyes tomorrow."

I laughed softly and leaned my head on his shoulder as we walked out of the library.

**A/N- Well I hoped you liked it. **

**Clary- I did!**

**MBWF- *jumps* What is it with you people! Creeping up on me...**

**Clary- Not my fault you're unobservant.**

**MBWF- Meh. You hurt Jace.**

**Clary- You made me.**

**MBWF- *dons glasses*And how does that make you feel?**

**Clary- Which one? You making me yell at Jace or me yelling at Jace?**

**MBWF- The latter. I don't count.**

**Clary- Yes you do.**

**MBWF- Do not. I made this. Now stop stalling and answer the question.**

**Clary- Uh, depressed.**

**MBWF- *scribbles on notepad* You are terrible at therapy.**

**Clary- Stop stalling and get on with the finishing message.**

**MBWF- Touché. Well, Please comment because you know I'd love to hear from you. If there is anything that you think I should include in my little series, ideas, events, characters etc., let me know. For now, Ciao peeps!**

**Clary- *waves* Bye!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Couldn't resist another Jace chapter. XD This segment takes place a few months after the last chapter. By the way, could you guys give me a heads up if you want me to write about the wedding or not and any other ideas. THANKS! Spesh to those who have reviewed.**

**Disclaimer- Nope, not mine.**

**JPOV**

Everything was planned to run smoothly.

The wedding was in three weeks and Clary was fuelled by pure adrenaline from just planning it. Good thing she was a great planner- I could have never have pulled off a wedding in just a few months.

The Lightwood's had visited often since our visit to New York. Izzy and Mayrse seemed to be having as much fun as Clary was planning the event and I enjoyed having Alec around. Jocelyn came along to Idris with them, as well as Luke a few times. For once, all of the multiple rooms in our house had been used all at the same time.

But it wasn't the wedding or the constant visiting's that had me worried.

The thing that had me worried was Clary herself.

She had been constantly sick over the past weeks, throwing up most mornings and running a temperature not to mention her mood was very touch and go sometimes. Even if she said she felt fine after a trip to the bathroom, I didn't believe her. Nobody got that sick and was fine afterwards and I didn't want her to be in pain.

Worried, I rang up the most motherly figure known to me, Mayrse, in a desperate attempt to see if she knew anything about a situation such as this.

Of course, she was worried as well once I described Clary's condition to her. Yet I had the feeling Mayrse was a lot more clued in and knew more than she was telling me. She told me not to worry; Clary would get over her bout of sickness and demanded that I put Clary on the phone for a quick chat.

Well that quick chat turned into a two hour "deep and meaningful". Clary had taken the phone upstairs into our bedroom and sprawled out on the bed. I was shooed out of the room whenever I came up to see what was going on.

That conversation took place two weeks ago now.

I was lying on the couch thinking over these things when Clary walked into the living room. She smiled when she saw me and leaned over the back of the couch.

"Hey what are you doing in here?"

"Uh...relaxing? Why?"

She chuckled. "No reason. Just wondering why you weren't outside and, I don't know, being like you usually are."

I smirked and ran a hand through my hair. "There are no demons outside at present because I've already got rid of them all. And you know deep down inside you don't want me outside anyway."

"True," she said.

I sat up quickly, grabbed her arms and as a look of surprise crossed her face; I pulled her over and onto the couch beside me.

"Jace...," she complained, laughing at the same time.

I wrapped my arms around her stomach and pulled her tighter to my chest while burying my face in her head of red waves. She just put her hands over mine and closed her eyes.

"You tired?" I asked, watching as she yawned.

"Just a little," she admitted. Her eyes looked far from tired though, shining more than usual actually; like she had some secret to tell.

I eyed her suspiciously. "I can tell you're excited. What's up?"

She rolled over, propping herself up on her elbows to look at me straight. Now she couldn't restrain her smile.

"Well, you know how I've been sick and everything lately?"

"Yes?"

Her smile widened. "I'm pregnant."

My mouth dropped. Pregnant? When had she found this out?

"What?" I said, shocked.

"We're going to have a baby, Jace!" she said excitedly. I couldn't help but grin with her; her happiness was infectious. I put my hand under her chin and bought her mouth to mine. The kiss was only short but I meant it.

I have to admit I'd never really wondered what it would be like to have kids but that didn't stop me know. Seeing how excited Clary was about this, I couldn't help but love the idea of a mini-Shadowhunter running around the house.

"When did you find out?" I asked, curious.

"Well, after that talk with Mayrse, I put all the pieces together: the morning sickness, the mood swings, my temps, I've missed my period twice now and I've also been sleeping a lot lately. So I made a conclusion. I mean, Mayrse gave me the idea but it wasn't until this morning that I did a pregnancy test, so I wasn't really surprised that it tested positive."

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because I wanted to be sure before I told you."

I smiled. "Well Izzy will be happy; another thing to fuss over."

She laughed. "Of course. They don't know yet so I'll have to call them sooner or later."

A thought struck me.

"Hey with us having, uh, 'special talents', what do you think the baby will be like?"

She smiled. "Just like you, I hope."

I returned her smile. "You'll love him anyway."

"Him? What if it's a girl?"

I smirked. "Well you can't exactly call him 'it' or 'thing', can you? That's just cruel."

She hit me playfully on the chest. "Ow,"I replied with mock hurt.

"C'mon," She said, rolling off the couch, "I'm hungry."

I rolled my eyes. "Look who's going to eat us out of house and home now."

**A/N- Short? I know. This just an update. I've been busy with exams and stuff, but alas winter hols are approaching so more will be written hopefully then. Don't forget to give us a shout out because reviews really do help a author write quicker. :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- Guys, firstly I am sooo sorry for not updating earlier. Okay so this is my first ever Isabelle point of view but I thought it was best if we saw her perspective on this next part of the story. So more fluff but from her POV. Also I'm an avid Simon/Izzy supporter so sorry to those who like Simon/Maia better. I apologize in advance for any of you who take offence for any sexual references. Anywho...Onwards!**

**Disclaimer- Really, I shouldn't have to repeat myself. All fanfics say the same thing.**

IPOV

I loved Idris at this time of year. Everything was in bloom, no humidity and the wind lightly danced through the trees. It was a good thing I had decided to come visit Clary and Jace otherwise I would have missed the springtime I so loved here.

I left New York a week ago after Clary called me and said she was pregnant. Once she told me, how could I not rush to Idris? I even heard Jace saying 'Izzy will come running at the mention of drama' in the background of the phone call.

I had to agree he was right though.

I looked up at the impeccably blue sky high above me. Only the trickling of the stream could be heard in the meadow full of blooming daisies. I reached up and picked one, studying it closely.

How could something so simple be so beautiful?

I sighed. It was times like this when I felt alone.

I couldn't seem to find love anywhere. No matter how many guys I had dated, none of them had seemed to last more than a week or two. And when I thought I had found the right guy, he'd slipped through my fingers.

I thought back to Jace and Clary's wedding where I had seen him last...

*****

"You look beautiful Clary," I assured her, slipping a daisy into her hair.

I looked around at her in the mirror in front of us. Clary did look beautiful. Her strapless white dress hugged her curves and had silver swirling patterns down the front of the fabric and spread down the pleated skirt where it flared just above the knee. My own deep blue bridesmaid dress, off the shoulders and embroidered with silver patterning also, completed the look nicely.

I pinned the veil under Clary's hair which she had it twisted it up in an intricate bun.

"You nervous?" I asked.

"She gave me a small smile in the mirror. "A little."

I smiled at her. "Don't worry about it. You're not the only one," I muttered.

This puzzled her. "Why are you nervous? You're not the one in the white dress."

"He's here," I said simply, not meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"Who? Simon?"

I didn't answer. Clary took that as a yes.

She turned around to look at me. "And when have you ever held back from going out with a Downworlder?"

I shrugged. "It's never been an issue before. I think it's the fact Maia likes him too and I think that he likes her more than me; you know with them both being Downworlders and all."

Clary threw her arms around. "Everything will be fine Iz, don't worry."

The squeaking of a door opening alerted us to the fact that someone had entered the room.

"Hey girl's you ready? It's time to get going," Jocelyn said.

Clary pulled away and nodded. "Let's go," she said.

The ride to the church was short and faded into the blur of the ceremony; it all flew past me so quickly. Only a few moments stood out, as if they had been hours not seconds.

I caught Simon's eye as I walked down the aisle; although I looked away just as quickly, blushing as his gaze continued to follow me.

I had met his gaze once more as I twirled around the crowded dance floor with Jace. Simon was sitting by himself at one of the tables, watching the other people enjoy themselves. His eyes not only followed me, but Maia to my disappointment, who was dancing around with Luke. Jace caught me staring.

"Go and ask him to dance," he said, nodding in Simon's direction, "Take charge."

I shook my head.

"C'mon, it's not like you to be nervous. Go," Jace urged, giving me a slight push in Simon's direction. I started to walk across the room, never taking my eyes off the floor. Just before I reached him, I looked back at Jace. He was gave me an encouraging nod, and went to find Clary.

I took a deep breath. "Hey."

Simon looked up at me. "Hey yourself," he said, politely.

"You wanna, um, come dance...with me?" I asked.

"Yeah sure," he replied.

He took my hand and led me back to the dance floor. Somehow I must have crossed that barrier that was holding us back from each other because we danced for a while. Song after song passed as he held me gently in his arms, my head on his shoulder. Clary gave me the biggest grin when I caught her eye sometime during the night.

******

And that was the last time I had seen him. He'd kissed me goodnight around eleven and left. Well at least he didn't leave with Maia or some other chick.

I knew the complications of falling in love with a vampire, you know the age thing; the "frozen in time" crap. Plus the good looks which, I couldn't help but notice drew eyes at the reception.

Why couldn't my love life be simple!

I rolled over onto my stomach and checked my watch. Jeez, I'd been out in this darn meadow by myself for 3 hours. That must be a record for me.

I got up and brushed the grass off the front of my brightly patterned, black dress shirt and jeans. I looked around; there was still no one in sight.

Sweet. That gave me time to act like my raw self before I went back to the manor.

I pulled out my iPod out of the pocket of my jeans and put the ear buds in. I pressed 'Shuffle songs' and started walking back.

The first song got to me straight away and I couldn't help but shake my head around and dance while still managing to go forwards.

"Slow down... This night's a perfect shade of dark blue, dark blue. Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you? I said the world could be burning, burning down. Dark blue, dark blue; Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you? I said the world could be burning 'til there's nothing but dark blue..."

I sang along to the song, envisioning myself dancing back at a club in New York, the lights playing across my raven hair. Dancing was my way of letting go.

The next song started as I passed under the giant willow trees that bordered a small stream. Cutting across here would get me home sooner. But I lingered for a while, spinning myself around a tree's trunk, singing.

"But since you've been gone, I can breathe for the first time. I'm so movin' on... Yeah! Yeah! Thanks to you...Now I get...What I want. Since you've been gone"

I was jumped across the stream in time to the song and continued on, running through the next paddock, the house in sight now.

The next song started playing as I ran and I smiled instantly. This song always got me dancing.

"You're like a black cat with a black back pack full of fireworks you're gonna burn the city down right now. Whoa! Whoa!"

I spun around and shook my head to the thumping beat. I seriously hoped Jace wasn't looking at my spectacular display of dancing out the window. Maybe he was taking advantage of the time alone with Clary with me being out of the house for a while. Gah! Bad images!

I came to a stop ten metres away from the back door and removed the ear phones from my ears and shoved the device back into my pocket. I slid the glass door open and walked inside, the tiles cool on my feet.

One of Clary's favourite CD's was being blasted through the house from the living room, so I couldn't hear any movement in the house- or any moaning, thank God. I walked into the kitchen, looking for a bite to eat or something, seeming as I had missed lunch.

I bent down and looked in the fridge. Geez, there was hardly anything in here that didn't require time to prepare or cook.

Pain shot up my side and I hit my head on the fridge shelf as I retaliated from the surprise.

"Oww," I groaned, rubbing my head.

"Got you," Clary giggled.

I turned around to face the laughing red head. "Gosh, poking me in the sides while my head is in the fridge is an unfair advantage for you."

She smiled. "Not really. You should have heard me coming anyway."

"You're the one with your Red Jumpsuit Apparatus CD blasting through the house."

"What can I say? It's a great band."

I looked over the woman in front of me. Clary had grown a few inches taller since our first encounter at Pandemonium and her hair had slightly darkened over the years also. Her attitude had changed as well due to her experiences being a part of the Shadow world; she had become more accepting of life and death and she lived in the moment nowadays. Her green eyes were gleaming with amusement at me and she had one hand protectively laid atop of her bulging stomach.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said.

"Like what?" I said, mocking her tone sarcastically.

"Like you're dissecting me piece by piece."

I shrugged. Her guess wasn't too far off but I lied anyway. "Oh I was just thinking how you didn't tell me you were pregnant four months after you told your mum. My mum even found out before me! That's just shameful. I even saw you at the wedding when you were a month along and you knew."

Clary gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I just didn't want to get people worked up until after the three month mark. Plus I didn't want you rushing in here while I was still puking every morning or two."

I shrugged again. "Still, the fact remains- you told me last!"

She put on a poker face. "Did not-"

"Oh pft-"

"-Alec was last."

I rolled my eyes; Jace's sarcasm was obviously rubbing off on Clary after 4 years.

"Well since you've stopped questioning me, I would like to raid the fridge now Iz," she continued. I skipped to the side as she pulled out the ingredients she wanted.

"Want a sandwich?" she asked, fishing a knife out her back pocket and starting to butter two slices of bread. I raised my eyebrows.

"Yea but, um, wouldn't Jace kind of be a little angry when he sees you using his _kindjal_, his knife he gave to you, to butter a slice of bread?"

She smirked as she buttered another two slices for me. "What Jace doesn't know won't hurt him."

I had to cover my mouth to stop myself from laughing. What Clary didn't know was Jace was leaning up against the doorway to the kitchen, watching his wife's every move with his tawny eyes. A smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Clary was still oblivious, however, and wiped the knife off on a cloth beside her and slipping the knife back into her pocket.

"Chicken, lettuce and tomato?" she asked.

"Yes please," Jace said. Clary hit the roof-figuratively. Jace had snuck up behind her while she was distracted with putting the sandwich together.

"Crap Jace! You scared me," she said.

"Mmhm," he replied, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder.

They were quiet for a moment, revelling in each other's company as Clary cut my sandwich with a normal knife in half.

"Here you go, Iz," she said, sliding the sandwich on a plate across the counter to me. Jace's eyes now flickered up to me.

"Nice singing too by the way," he said, smirking.

"Crap," I muttered under my breath. Just what I had been hoping wouldn't happen, happened. But Jace was distracted already by something else to continue his teasing.

"Clary..." he murmured, "Was that...?" He was looking down at Clary and where his hands were around her stomach.

Clary was beaming. "It was!" she said, nodding enthusiastically.

"What did I miss? Was there some miraculous telepathic connection between you two?" I asked.

Clary's emerald eyes were shining when they met mine. "He just kicked," she said, not holding back her joy. Jace pressed a kiss to her temple.

"He's at it again," he said, bringing Clary's hands to her stomach this time.

"Izzy come here," Clary said. I walked around the counter to her. As soon as I reached her she grabbed my wrists and put them to her bulge. And there it was, the little tyke was kicking hard inside her womb.

"He's strong," I said, "A true Shadowhunter in the making." I couldn't help smiling with Clary as I hugged her.

I released her, only for her to become entangled in Jace's. He kissed her lightly, but it gradually got more intense; I looked away pointedly.

They finally pulled away but that didn't stop them beaming at each other. Jace's smile started to fade though as he looked at Clary. Something was wrong, but Clary's back was turned to me.

"What-?" I started but Jace's shouts interrupted me.

"CLARY!" He shouted as her figure sagged in his tight grip.


	8. Chapter 8

**Kay I thought we better see why Clary collapsed from her POV before I go on. It's nice to see so many people worried about her. Sorry for not updating in like a month...or two. *sheepish grin*My bad. This chapter was sorta hard to write as it decided the rest of the baby's and the story's future. Anyways, read on ppls.**

**Disclaimer- ....yes, I am Cassandra Clare. *shifty eyes***

CPOV

Jace was smiling at me euphorically. It was times like these I treasured the most.

Suddenly, a cracking pain shot up through my torso, knocking the wind out of me. I tried to draw in breath but I couldn't seem to be able to. The pain in my chest was excruciating, like having multiple bones broken at once.

I lost feeling in my body as a wave of black overcame me. The last thing I saw was Jace's mouth move, his lips forming my name, and his lightning fast reflexes trying to catch me before I hit the floor.

*****

JPOV

"Clary!" I cried as she lay there, motionless, in my arms. I looked up at Isabelle, the panic clearly shown in my eyes.

"What do I do?" I said, desperately.

"How should I know!?" Izzy said, flinging her arms around nervously.

I rushed into the lounge room and carefully placed Clary on the couch, stuffing a pillow under her legs to level her body.

"Watch her," I said to Izzy who was crouched beside her, "I'm going to find my stele."

I practically flew up the stairs to find my stele. Why had Clary had fainted? One moment, she had been perfectly happy, rejoicing with me over our child's feats. The next, she had fainted in my arms; the panic and adrenalin was still pumping through my veins from the sight of her limp body in my arms.

I opened up the door to our personal weaponry store. From the panelled walls, every weapon that Clary or I had desired hung there or was in a cupboard. My eyes found the stele lying on the table, centred in the middle of the room.

"Clary, wake up!" Izzy was saying as I ran back into the living room.

"Anything?" I asked as I knelt down beside her. Isabelle just shook her head.

I ran my hands over Clary's stomach. There was unfamiliar bump in her skin before where our baby was growing- and another and another. I gently touched the lump and it moved as I touched it; it felt strangely like-

"Bone," I whispered.

"What's the matter?" Izzy asked.

I grabbed my stele and drew a healing rune over Clary's ribs. "I think the baby kicked Clary's ribs and broke a few somehow." I sighed with relief as the moments passed and the broken rib set back into place. Clary's soundless state soon was filled with her shallow breathing.

Izzy sighed with relief. "So it was just the pain of it that knocked her out?"

I nodded. "Probably."

I looked back at Clary to see her eyes fluttering open. She looked confused for a moment as she took in her surroundings. I sighed again.

Clary rubbed her head. "What happened?" she said a little groggily.

I reached for her hand and held it tightly between the both of mine. "Somehow, the baby broke a few of your ribs unexpectantly."

She frowned. "Surely he can't be that strong yet. It's only been about 5 months."

I shrugged while Isabelle answered.

"Some Nephilim offspring are stronger than others; it's not that uncommon. But all have more strength than a pure-blooded mundane child."

It was my turn to frown. "But still. Did you ever break your mother's bones when you were still in her stomach?"

"Probably not. But then again, you guys are- how do I put this?" She thought for a moment before raising her hands and making quotation marks with her fingers. "Special."

Clary laughed. "I think we already knew that. But who knows, there could be something whacked about our genes and stuff. Like our angel genes could cancel each other out and the baby could end up not having the Sight at all."

I shook my head. "Not likely."

"As I said, who knows!?"

Isabelle got up from where she had been kneeling on the ground. "Argh my knees!"

"Seriously you're not that old yet," I said, contradicting her complaint.

She scowled. "Soon I will be."

"Get pregnant first and then tell me how your legs feel," Clary said.

Isabelle just rolled her eyes in response and walked out of the room.

Clary held up three fingers, putting them down, one at a time.

"Three, two, one..."

"I refuse to get fat just to find out how much it hurts Clary!" Isabelle yelled, from the direction of the kitchen.

"I'll have a green tea thanks Iz," she called back. I could just imagine the relinquished look on Isabelle's face complimented by a smirk. I shook my head and laughed.

A shrill ringing echoed through the house.

"Go get that Jace. You know you want to," Clary said, playfully.

I got up and walked over to where the phone was ringing in the hall, picking it up from its cordless docking station.

"Hey, Jace speaking."

"Hi Jace it's Jocelyn. Is Clary there?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course she wanted her daughter.

"Yeah, I'll put her on."

"Thanks Jace."

I covered the mouthpiece with my hand as I uttered to Clary, "Your Mum."

"Was that supposed to be a delayed comeback?" she said.

"No, it is actually _your_ Mum," I said.

"Put her on speaker then." I nodded.

"Hey Jocelyn you there?"

"I hate to be sarcastic but _yeah_," Jocelyn said through the phone.

"Good. We're putting you on speaker."

"What? No, I-" I didn't hear the rest of her protest since I pulled the phone away my ear. But when I pushed the speaker button, I heard the end of it.

"-speak to my daughter without your input or sarcastic comments!"

Clary shook her head. "You know, whatever you say I'll tell Jace and take his advice anyway?"

Her mother was silent for a moment and I stuck my tongue out at Clary.

"Fine," Jocelyn finally said.

"How have you been anyway, Mum," Clary said, "I haven't seen you in a month or two."

"I've been better."

"What's wrong Mum?"

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone.

"I-"

At that moment Isabelle barged into the living room with a tray laden with cups of tea, not realising we were on the phone, let alone on speaker.

"Drinks," she said; the china tinkling as she set the cups down in front of me and Clary. "I took the liberty of getting you a coffee, too, Jace," she added.

"Ah Izzy-" Clary started.

"What? I gave you green tea didn't I?" Isabelle replied.

"Izzy-" I said.

"Seriously, what did I do wrong this time? Ever since I got here it's 'What the hell Iz?' or 'Keep secrets from Jace' or 'You stay here with the injured pregnant woman while I go do something else-"

By this point I had completely forgotten about the phone.

"Hey! I was not doing 'anything else'. I was getting my stele," I said, indignantly.

Izzy and I continued to bicker so much so that Clary threw a knife at the wall behind us to get our attention.

"Oi!" She said, "I'm the only one who gets to be hormonal around here! Now shut up- there's someone on the phone!"

Izzy and I fell silent.

"Oh," Isabelle murmured. I chuckled.

"Sorry Jocelyn," I said, as I sat down beside Clary on the lounge. Izzy sat on the arm of the chair.

"It's okay. You two have always been like this," she said.

Clary shook her head. "What were you saying Mum?"

"Now I know you like it there in Idris and everything but-"

Clary sighed. "I hope this isn't another one of your attempts to persuade us to move back to New York."

"No but-"

"Jocelyn, give it up. We're not moving," I said, crossing my arms. Jocelyn had been giving us the 'I want you to move back home' speech ever since we moved here. And it wasn't only her. Isabelle had also said it is better living in New York. But then again, she only agrees because of the lack retail stores here.

"Now Mum, when are you coming to visit?" Clary asked.

"That's what I phoned to tell you about-"

"What?" Clary cried, "You're not coming not coming to visit your own pregnant daughter!?"

"Clary! I'm not going to Idris because you are coming here!"

"What?" Clary, Isabelle and I said in unison.

"Clary, I want you to have the baby here in New York," Jocelyn said.

There was a stunned silence. Well, that was something I wasn't expecting; unless she wanted a hospital delivery which was unusual. Most Nephilim were home-birthed and I would have expected my child to definitely been one of those, considering we didn't actually know what was going to happen with our extra angel-blood and everything. But then again that could pose a problem to Clary's health, so I guess the technology could well be worth the risk of being exposed at a mundane hospital.

"Ah Mum..." Clary drifted off, head in her hands, "I was hoping to have her here."

"But Clary I think it would be best having the baby in New York and living here for a while. That way, we are here if you need us."

'We' I assumed were the rest of the family. No doubt they were in on this already.

"We'll think about Jocelyn," I said. I was convinced on going, but I just had to persuade Clary now. And I don't think it would best having her mother listening in as I did it.

"Thank you Jace," she said, relieved. She was relieved anytime I didn't deny anything at first mention.

"We'll talk to you later then, Mum," Clary said.

"Okay Hun. I'll talk to you later then," Jocelyn said.

"Bye Mum."

"See ya," I put in.

"Byeeee!" Izzy said.

Jocelyn's laughter could be heard as the receiver clicked off.

Clary sighed and leaned back into the chair. I leaned back and put my arm around her shoulders and she gently put her head on my shoulder.

"What do we do now?" she said, twisting her fingers through mine.

I laid my head on top of hers. "I think your mum is right: We should go back to New York for a while."

"Jace is right. You're so isolated out here. I think it's about time we all went home too," Izzy said.

After a moment, Clary sighed again. "Looks like we're going home then."

**Just a lil ramble here-**

**I was seriously considering a miscarriage in the planning stages but I value my safety too much. I also went re-reading my stories and was like, 'Wow! My grammers come a long way. How did I even come up with half this stuff?' So it's been proven: Constant writing does improve your grammitcal skills. **

**Anyways, drop me a line-**

**Alec- Me? C'mon I'm not _that_ much of a background character!**

**Bowvs- OMG! It's you! You finally decided to make an appearance.**

**Alec- Why yes I did. **

**Bowvs- Would you like to help me announce the usual 'review or I kill you' jargon.**

**Alec- You kill them?**

**Bowvs- No...Maybe a better threat would be 'or you'll never get a job!'**

**Alec- Aww are you not getting work?**

**Bowvs- *sniffles* No. **

**Alec- *hugs* It's ok.**

**Bowvs- *hugs back* At least someone cares about my lack of employment.**

**Alec- You going to announce the end of your rant?**

**Bowvs- Yes. Rant over now guys. Remember to review!!!**

**Alec- She does love feedback. **

**Bowvs- *nods* It helps alot. (to Alec) Chicken soup is also good for feel-good stuff.**

**Alec- Yep. Anyways, we gotta run now guys.**

**Bowvs- He's right. See yall next chap! :) TTFN. xx**

**Alec- Cheers.**

**Bowvs- (Did you just use Aussie slang?****)**

**Alec- (Gah, it's cause of your darn Destination: Australia story.)**

**Bowvs- *smirks***


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey I'm back...again. Sooner this time with a longer chapter. :) Just 'cause I felt like it, this chapter shall be featuring slash based on slash mentions of song titles of songs from the awesome MUSE. They are an ideal muse to listen to while writing and I just heart their new album. So yeah, enjoy as always and plug in Baby! *grooves***

**Disclaimer- I, Bovary Deniels, DO (not) own the Mortal Instruments series.**

** Simon: Oh, snap. **

** Bowvs: *death stares Simon down as she cannot actually physically harm a fictional character***

Shadows fell over my sooty figure as I walked into the alleyway that connected to the street on which I lived. Light flickered up ahead at the end of the alley way. It seemed this was the only place that was not burning. As I came out onto my street, I saw that our conquerors had not returned for the night yet.

Their reign of terror continued, although, as the city burned constantly both day and night. Everywhere I looked there were clusters of people, circling a burning pile of propaganda. Before they returned to wreak havoc, people showed some hint of rebellion but they never put it into actions against the leaders.

Suddenly, yelling came from the heights of the skyscrapers. It was a warning.

They were coming.

People around me scattered, running for shelter like the cowardly lions they were. I was usually like this. But tonight, I felt a spark of defiance. Instead of running to my small apartment down the road, I ran toward the outskirts of the city. To where the char didn't reach; to where freedom lies.

Their footsteps grew louder as they got closer as I tried to escape the burning city behind me. But I couldn't escape the burns when the flames licked at my arms and ash catching in my hair as I ran. The towering figures hideous faces looked down at me, the firelight shining off their pointed fangs.

All of a sudden, I was surrounded; their towering figures encircling me. One opened its giant furry mouth and its cat-like eyes seemed to glare daggers at me.

"Clary..." It called. I started to tremble. I was in serious trouble.

"Go away!" I cried, running around trying to find a way out between their legs.

"Clary," It called again. I shook even harder. A giant paw came down towards me.

"NO!" I screamed, hugging my shaking body with my sooty hands as the looming furry paw came closer.

"Clary!"

******

My eyes snapped open. I was breathing fast and hard and gripping the sides of my seat.

"You alright?" a voice asked beside me. I looked to see who it was.

Jace was there, touching my shoulder, looking concerned. He touched my sweaty forehead.

"Yeah," I said, panting slightly, "Bad dream."

"What did I tell you about falling asleep with your iPod still playing?" he said, scolding me.

"Oh, right," I said, pulling out the ear buds and touched the touchpad, ready to turn it off. I stopped though when I saw what was playing. Of course! That's why my dream had been about giant, evil teddy-bears. I had been listening to Muse while I was sleeping, most likely their new album with Uprising on it. I chuckled to myself.

"What's so funny," Jace asked.

I smiled, turned my iPod off and replied, "Nothing."

I looked around. We were still on the plane, not in some desecrated town. Isabelle was chatting animatedly to an interior designer behind us, planning a new design for her room. The window beside Jace's head had the golden sunlight of late afternoon streaming in, the golden tinge lighting up his hair even more than I thought possible.

"How long did I blackout for?" I asked with a yawn.

"We're nearly there," he replied, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers.

I felt a small flower of guilt bloom in my stomach. Being seven months pregnant had taken a lot out of me lately, and as much as I tried to hide the fact, Jace still noticed. About a month and a bit after Mum had called and basically told us to come back to New York for a while, we finally decided it was time to leave Idris for the polluted skies of my second home. I was planning on travelling the usual way by the wondrous Portalling system of course, but Jace had insisted I wasn't up to it, opting for mundane transport instead. I knew it was killing him, but he put on the poker face and dealt with it.

Although, I did have to admit I was pretty peeved when some girl, who looked like she could be on the cover of _Vogue_, came up to Jace in the airport, claiming that she had travelled half the world to say she belonged to him and gave him her number.

Well, did I flaunt my ring in her face after that!

"Don't worry Clary," he had said in my ear after that blonde bimbo toddled away, "I belong to you alone." I had to smile after that.

*****

The aeroplane touched down about an hour after I woke up and reminisced on my leaving. Let me tell you, being heavily pregnant on a plane isn't the best thing to be when getting out of those economy seats. But I suppose it did have its advantages in the sympathy department a.k.a. when trying to get though crowds- everyone just parts for you! So nice...

The airport was rather crowded so it took us a while to find my Mum and whoever else was with her. We didn't even end up finding them- they found us.

All I saw was a blur of red and then suddenly Mum had me wrapped up in her arms.

"Clary, I've missed you so... much," she whispered in my ear as I hugged her tightly, or as tightly as I could with my protruding stomach, back.

"Missed you too, Mum," I said back. I looked sideways over at Jace; he was shaking hands with Luke while Izzy was hugging her own mother behind them. When Mum finally let go of me, she hugged Jace and Izzy both while I embraced Luke and Mayrse.

"Geez Clary, get any bigger and you'll have to have a whole state to yourself," Alec joked as I gave him a hug as well. He seemed to have such a lighter personality these days and things between us now were all good. Well we were basically family nowadays anyway. I smiled and put a hand to his cheek.

"I'm glad your hard times are over," I said. He smiled, his cheek moving under my palm as he did.

"Things are a lot better now," he said.

"Where is Magnus?" I said, looking around behind Alec. I expected that wherever Alec was, so would Magus; his own living shadow, each other's missing half.

Alec shrugged. "He's got stuff to do."

I smiled. Alec never failed to provide me with short syllable answers. "I'm sure he'll be finished soon."

Alec nodded and stepped back to shake Jace's hand.

I looked around at my family: Luke with his arm around my mum's waist, laughing together at their own private joke; Mayrse embracing her daughter, a look of complete happiness on her face; and finally Alec and Jace, acting like the true parabati they were. I smiled.

I was home.

*****

IPOV

Was I the only soul in this finally healed family with inner torment still lingering in my heart?

It was like some idiot had replaced the big man in the sky for a day and cursed me to eternity of self torment and a bad love-life. I know it was kind of selfish of me to act like this but was it too much to ask to have someone to understand?

Why did everyone else get it but me!

I couldn't stand the love ridden foreign place that is now my home so I went out walking. Two hours after arriving home from Idris this is what I found myself thinking while sitting on a park bench in Central Park.

I watched the children skip along the worn paths; their parents following close behind watching their babies every step. I watched as the summer effects started to take over the spring, the breeze filling with warm air. I watched as the happy couples picnicked on the browning grass on the slope in front of me.

And what did I contribute to this happy scene? A depressed sigh and a fallen expression.

As I continued my watching, my eyes fell upon a familiar form crossing the bridge to my left. I screwed my eyes shut, hoping he would just disappear. I opened one eye hoping he hadn't seen me but my signature clothing of a heels and some type of skirt, gave me away almost instantly. He smiled and made his way up to my hiding spot.

"Isabelle," Simon said with a grin. I put on a false smile in return.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" I said.

Simon shrugged and kicked the grass with his toe. "Walking, you know, it gets kind of boring being at college. I don't have the kind of eventful life like you Shadowhunters."

It was my turn to shrug. "It's not that bad.

"Never said it was."

I looked away, distracting myself from the way his hair had grown longer since the last time she had seen him; the front slightly curling.

Simon sat down on the seat beside her. "You know, a few years ago I never thought I'd be friends with you the way I am today."

What is that supposed to mean? And what was the whole 'friends' thing about? Last time I checked I thought he wanted more than that; I know I did. Or maybe I was just delusional.

"What's up? You look kind of down," Simon said.

I sighed. I should tell him. But why is it always up to me to do these things?

"Izzy-"

"See that couple down there?" I pointed rather harshly.

He looked down toward the couple lying on the picnic blanket on the slope in front of us. The girl was wrapped up in the guy's arms while they both talked about idle things.

"Yeah, why?" Simon cautiously answered.

"Just look at them. What does she have that I don't?" I folded my arms, glaring at him, hoping the tears that I could feel welling in my eyes wouldn't spill.

He shrugged. "A really good spot on the grass instead of under these bird-ridden trees?"

I restrained my hand from slapping him.

"No. Have another try," I said through gritted teeth. That's what I constantly gave him- another try, another go to ask me before I did.

He shook his head. "I dunno. Love?"

"You don't know? It seems pretty obvious to me," I said, standing up.

"Izzy...," he sighed.

"You know, it's amazing how someone can break your heart but you still love them with all the little pieces that haven't already broken down into dust," I all but basically yelled at him. I turned my back on Simon still sitting on the seat and started walking away as fast as I could. I wasn't going to let him see my tears.

I had that much dignity.

**I'M SORRY! I love Izzy/Simon soppiness and this will give me incentive to write the next chapter before Christmas. Bet cha anything you didn't get the start until it was explained. ;) **

**Simon: I did.**

**Bowvs: That's only cause I let you in on this chapter.**

**Simon: No one can resist my charms.**

**Bowvs: What? Your nerd charms?**

**Simon: Everyone loves a nerd. **

**Bowvs: *huffs***

**Simon: Is that jealousy?**

**Bowvs: No, 'tis not. **

**Simon: Was that an accent?**

**Bowvs:...I confess, I've been watching way to many movies that I've got some sort of crossover accent. Darn it.**

**Simon: Sucks to be you.**

**Bowvs: Just go fall in a hole.**

**Simon: Isn't it 'die', not 'fall'?**

**Bowvs: Yes, but then I'd have a ransom hanging over my head if I actually did kill you.**

**Simon: Hmm watch out for Clary and Isabelle in particular if you do.**

**Bowvs: True. I hate you. You and your weaselling abilities. **

**Simon: Hey, you can't resist 'em.**

**Bowvs: Ciao guys, Simon's all yours to deal with now.**

**Simon: She won't leave really.**

**Bowvs: ...**

**Simon: Hello?**

**Bowvs: ...**

**Simon: Crap. What does she normally say at the end of a chapter...? Oh right, review please!! We are almost to a hundred! And that seems to be her first hundred on one story ever. Proud guys, real proud. Anyways, see ya.**

**Bowvs: He does a brilliant job doesn't he? *proud smile* **


	10. Chapter 10

**AWWw I MISS YOU GUYS! It's been a year or two, but Isabelle needed my love, as did CoaLSSH. Here's to the reviewers who followed and nagged me for more chapters even though I've been ignoring most of my emails until now. You asked for it, mon petit choux.**

Previously on CoaLSSH... Clary, Jace and Isabelle had arrived back in New York at Jocelyn's request._ "__Being seven months pregnant had taken a lot out of me lately, and as much as I tried to hide the fact, Jace still noticed. About a month and a bit after Mum had called and basically told us to come back to New York for a while, we finally decided it was time to leave Idris for the polluted skies of my second home... I looked around at my family: Luke with his arm around my mum's waist, laughing together at their own private joke; Mayrse embracing her daughter, a look of complete happiness on her face; and finally Alec and Jace, acting like the true parabati they were. I smiled. I was home." _

Afterwards, Isabelle ran into Simon in Central Park and ended up professing her feelings to him._ ""You know, it's amazing how someone can break your heart but you still love them with all the little pieces that haven't already broken down into dust," I all but basically yelled at him. I turned my back on Simon still sitting on the seat and started walking away as fast as I could. I wasn't going to let him see my tears. I had that much dignity._"

**ONWARRRRRRDS.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, only the psychotic plot line.**

* * *

_Isabelle's point of view._

I gave a frustrated sigh as I threw my purse and coat onto the kitchen table and slid into one of the many chairs around the table. I buried my face into hands and sat there for a moment or two focusing on the sound of my own breath.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

I'd never felt more alone than I had right now.

The Institute was quiet; no familiar thumps from the practice rooms, no ring of the phone, no creaking of the elevator; the slight pitter patter of the rain drops that had started fall against the glass of the kitchen window the only sound to be heard.

Nothing was ever going to be easy. Sure I could charm the pants of a guy for a one night stand but that was my past now. I was the one who stood at the side lines and watched everyone else fall in love and get married and be all sappy with their partners. Was it so hard for me to find someone to take care of me? I was sick of doing it alone.

I traced the tendons on the inside of my wrist, my fingers briefly pausing at each scar that stood out on the alabaster colour of my arm. Was I just being unrealistic with my wish? Was the way I lived my life, the endless fighting, the reason why I was alone?

_In._

_Out._

To be honest, this wasn't the first time I had considered giving up my Sight for the peace of the mundane world but the scars of the runes would always remain, forever reminding me that I would have turned my back on practically everybody I cared about. Once you turn your back on the Shadowworld, that's it; you're on your own.

I couldn't do that. I couldn't bear not to see my family again and be relocated. I couldn't bear not to see Clary's unborn child grow up and Jace gushing over his own family. I couldn't bear not being able to visit Max's grave like I did once a year.

And as much as I hated myself for thinking it, I couldn't bear not to see Simon again.

I cursed and backhanded the bowl of fruit that sat in the centre of the table. It made an almighty CRACK as it shattered against the kitchen cupboards, glass spilling across the floor.

_In._

_Out._

I couldn't hold it in any longer. My breath hitched as I stumbled from my chair to retrieve the dustpan from under the sink. The sniffles set in as I braced myself against the bench, kneeling by the cupboard. I couldn't take it.

I broke.I hit my forehead upon the wooden panel as the tears started to roll. The broken shadowhunter- once bright and vivacious couldn't put that façade on anymore. My toes slipped on the shards of glass and I slowly slid down the cupboard to the glass patterned floor. I don't know how long I lay there for, my sobs soaking my hair; the glass cut my skin when I moved but I wanted it to. I wanted to feel pain on the outside, hoping to make some compensation for the pain I felt on the inside. I wanted to just fade away into nothing. I was nothing.

I stared into space, my sniffles diminishing and with it my soul.

Only love could save a soul this broken.

I closed my eyes and imagined Max sitting beside me, stroking my hair and picking out the glass. I imagined his eyes magnified by his glasses watching me with care. He'd never left me, they seemed to be conveying. The slight rain had turned into a storm outside, the thunder filling my ears.

"Izzy? IZZY!" A voice interrupted my vision. Max smiled and disappeared as I slowly opened my eyes, his face being replaced by one that looked almost exactly like it.

"By the Angel, Izzy! What happened?" Alec looked down at me and took my cupped my face in his hands. My expression didn't change and I could see the blank look reflected in his worried blue eyes. "JACE, get in here now!"

He tenderly lifted me by the shoulders and I slouched against his chest, my arms hanging limp in my lap. I closed my eyes again, my breathing becoming shallow once more.

_In._

_Out._

"Alec, what's going- ,"Jace's reply to her brother fell short when he came through the kitchen door, "Iz."

He bent down by my knees, instantly drawing his steele out and placing an iratze on my skin, his eyes looking from me to Alec panicked It may erase the cuts, but it didn't clean the blood on the floor. Alec was rubbing my arm and smoothing my hair, like I had imagined Max doing. Jace just gripped my hand and stared at my sunken eyes. Neither of them knew what to do. To them, I was the tough-skinned Izzy that took on anybody who crossed her and stomped on hearts like they were insects. Vulnerably small Isabelle was the one who sat here now, burying her face into her brother's neck, her eyes misting up again. We stayed like that for a good 10 minutes before someone spoke again.

"Let's move her and clean this up before Mayrse comes in and sees her like this," Jace said, quietly. I silently thanked him. My mother should not have to deal with my break-down. No one should have but my brothers took care of me regardless.

Alec nodded and slipped a hand under my knees, lifting me from the mess. The light tinkle of glass falling from my clothes followed us as he took me to the en suite in my bedroom. He set me down on toilet. He left me for a moment only to return from my bedroom with my pyjamas.

I looked up at him and he stroked my cheek.

"Here, change into these and then we'll talk," he said, holding the clothes out to me. I just looked at them and then down at my knees.

He sighed. "I don't know what's going on any more with you, Isabelle. Please, just get changed. Jace is out there cleaning up what looks like a suicide attempt and I'm here looking at an empty shell and I can't stand seeing you like this. You never-," Alec's voice cracked, and shook his head, " Please, Izzy."

I sighed and took the shirt and flannel pants from his grasp. He turned and closed the bathroom door behind him. I peeled out of the blood stained singlet and tights and pulled on the comfy pyjamas. I avoided looking in the mirror. If I looked anything like what I felt, I didn't want to see it. I made my way back into the bedroom.

Jace must have finished cleaning up as he was leaning against the opposite wall, Alec sitting in the chair beside him, his fingers pressed together in thought. He looked up when I came out and the expression on his face said it all. He made me feel 5 years old again, the times when my big brother always had my back, picking me up every time I had fallen over and hurt myself. Jace pushed off the wall and wrapped me in a hug, cradling the back of my head in one hand and the other making soothing patterns on my back. He pulled back slightly, kissing the top of my head chastely.

"What's wrong, sister?"

Alec had come to stand beside us, his hand moving to wipe away the wetness beneath my eyes. It was then and there I decided to push back any thoughts of leaving the Clave behind. I couldn't live without my brothers. They were my support, now and forever.

"Don't leave me, please," I begged, my voice hoarse from crying.

No matter how many years passed or what happened between us, nothing would come between us. I needed them. Blood always did run thicker than water.

_In._

_Out._

_In._

_Out._

* * *

**_Feel free to hate me again. Or leave me some ideas, warm and fuzzies or food, however only two are able to be sent via reviews to my outrage. My cookie supply is seriously low. Also I have just updated 'The Ipod Human' so if you're looking for a laugh go and check it out. Second chapter particularly. _**

**_Until the next Ice Age,_**

**_Bowvs. xx_**

**_Jace: You're a terrible person._**

**_Bowvs: And you are my spirit animal._**

**_Jace: *shrugs* I'm a fabulous person, filled with glorious sarcasm and handsome looks with rapier wit._**

**_Bowvs: Return to your era, Shakespeare. Thou art clogging up thy author's note._**


	11. Chapter 11

**Good day to you all! I know what your thinking- an update within a week? Unheard of, right? It's about time we wrapped this part of fluff up, I say! **

JPOV

I would rather be anywhere but here.

The rain continued to pelt down on our wind breakers and drip down our faces onto the ground as we waited to ambush the rogue outside his lair. After a few hours of this, the waiting game grew tiresome and I more restless than ever. A buzzing inside my pocket startled me from where I was crouched in the alley way beside Alec. I tried to ignore it but it was as persistent as a migraine: stopping and then starting its irritating vibrating once more.

After ten minutes, Alec snapped. "For the Angel's sake, Jace- answer the hell-forsaken phone!" he said in an intense whisper.

I rolled my eyes and pulled out the phone, sheltering it from the downpour. "What!?"

"Jace, where are you?" came Jocelyn's annoyed voice through the speaker.

"Out on patrol with Alec, why? I thought you knew-"

"I did but then you weren't answering your phone and-"

"You're sounding like Clary."

There was silence for a moment on the other end of the phone. "Jocelyn, what's wrong?" I urged.

"Nothing, it's just Clary-"

Another moment of silence fell. "What happened to her? Tell me!"

Jocelyn sighed. "Just get here as soon as you can. We're at the Beth Israel Hospital."

I snapped the phone shut, grabbed Alec's arm and ran for the street.

"Jace, what's go-,"Alec spluttered as he tried to regain his footing and keep pace with me. I hailed a passing cab, not answering him.

"Beth Israel Hospital and make it fast," I said in a flurry to the driver. Alec glances at me; he's caught on at last.

* * *

_**4 hours earlier**_

CPOV

I pulled my hair from its untidy bun on the top of my head, letting the red tangles fall to my shoulders. I then grabbed my towel from the bench and padded out of the training room, wiping my forehead. I had refused giving up some form of physical training while I was pregnant so I settled for yoga and Pilates. I already knew it was going to be tough getting back to where I used to be, physically speaking, but at least this was keeping me entertained.

I made my way down the hall to the allocated room Jace and I were staying in, the classic clean white persona of the room greeteing me as I opened the door. Jace was out with Alec this evening doing the usual patrol around the city. For the past month, it's been like I've been watching my 17 year old self's life: Jace and Alec, in their first couple of years under employment, fearlessly keeping the demons of New York on their toes, acting like the true parabatai they were. Not even the ichor and blood could keep the grin off their faces when the boys returned at ungodly hours of the morn after a good night out kicking demon butt, for a lack of a better phrase.

I stripped out of my tights and an old I love NY shirt Simon had given me upon the move to Idris, and stepped into the shower. The slight burn of the water soothed my aching back and legs. Honestly I couldn't wait to get this extra weight off me. Sure I could handle this much weight in training class, but fulltime? Nope. This was torture.

As I went for the shampoo, my back muscles twinged. Yep, I'm going to be a happy woman when this was over.

As I methodically lathered and rinsed my hair, my thoughts wandered to the baby. Who was it going to look like? Jace? Me? God forbid if any of Valentine's looks came through. I turned off the water and hopped out of the shower. Too long in the shower and I would be questioning the meaning of life. I dressed in casual clothing and went in search of food. As I walked down the hall to the kitchen, I became aware of a noise coming from the living area. It was faint, stopping periodically and then resuming at different pitches. I stopped outside of the room and pushed the door open slowly.

There was Isabelle, wrapped in snuggie of all things, on the couch. Remote in hand, she watched the television yet changed the channel every two seconds unsettled. If watching Jace and Alec be the happiest I've seen in a long time, Izzy was the polar opposite. She had become a shadow of her former self in the last month; a bright flame now burning in a dull ember. I had brought up the issue with Jace but he had told me not to worry about it. _'She goes through her phases sometimes, remember Clary?'_

This was beyond ridiculous however. I was sick of watching the poor girl go through whatever internal suffering she was putting up with. So I said the words I thought I would not ever say to the sunken eyed girl on the lounge.

"Izzy, get up. We're going shopping," I snapped, charging to the TV and switching it off at the wall. My muscles groaned in protest again but I ignored them. I turned to face Isabelle, a loom of confusion spread across her face.

"Clary..." she started softly but I was having none of it.

"Nope, get up. We're leaving in ten and we'll go get food on the way," I cut her off, walking toward the door, "Elevator; ten minutes."

True to my request Isabelle was there ten minutes later, purse in hand. I smiled and gave her a tight hug. "Let's get your 20 year old butt back in its comfort zone," I said.

Izzy sighed. "Eh it was too warm for the leather pants tonight."

I shrugged, "At least yours fit you." We cracked a smile at each other as we descended in the golden bird cage like elevator to the church below. The flame of the shadow girl flickered for the better.

* * *

"And then I fell asleep and when I woke up, Jace was slumped up against the side of my bed and Alec was in the chair, snoring. They never left me. I apologise for stealing your usual bed buddy," Izzy said over her latte.

We had made our way down a couple of avenues of boutiques, a faint smile apparent over Isabelle's face the whole time. I'd even let her pick out some things for me for when after the baby had come, then made our way to Java Jones. Thursday night was Crooner's night, a tradition at the joint that hadn't changed since before I was even born. I had attended a few weeks back with Simon when I first arrived back in New York for a black coffee and a catch up, but now it was Izzy's turn.

I waved off her apology. "I didn't even notice he was missing. I was out cold that night probably. I'm just glad you had someone there for you. You should have said something about this whole mess to me sooner. You know I'm here for you no matter what!"

"It was just because of Simon. I didn't want to make you choose sides and if you chose against me, I would be more of an emotional wreck, trust me," she said, leaning her head on her hands.

I sighed. "No matter what, Isabelle. You're like my sister now. I wouldn't have sided against anybody; infamous Switzerland here."

She chuckled and took a sip of her milky coffee, glancing toward the stage where a woman dressed in short black dress and denim throw over shirt was singing a rendition of Adele's One and Only. I sighed and soaked in the atmosphere. It was pure heaven. I reached over and took Izzy's hand. "Also, I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Shoot."

I took deep breath. I originally wanted Jace to be here with me but the timing was right. "Iz, we want you to be the godmother of the baby."

She slightly snorted into her coffee, her eyes wide with delight. "Really? Me?!"

I nodded. "We considered Alec and Magnus, but they're unpredictable at times. We wanted someone stable and kind, yet tough and if anything happened, we know you would bring them up right."

Isabelle's face was conflicted. "Clary, you don't know how much this means to me," she whispered. I squeezed her hand and gave her a smile which she returned.

"I wish I had what you and Jace have," she said with a sigh. "I want love! I want kids and morning kisses and someone else to make my lattes for once at home!" She threw her hands up in mock anger and I giggled.

"Have you actually spoke to Simon or called him after what happened?" I asked quietly, not wanting an Isabelle-tantrum mid Java Jones.

"I've ignored all his calls and texts. I don't know what to say to him."

I frowned. "But didn't you leave it up to him to decide whether or not to come after you? After all you were the one who told him how you felt. It's his turn now. Maybe you should talk to him," I said.

She nodded. "I...I just don't want to be let down."

Once I would have been shocked by Isabelle Light wood confessing her inner thoughts and feelings, but we weren't dealing with the regular Isabelle here. And I saw a familiar face walk into the cafe bar ten minutes later I knew I wasn't going to see her for another day yet.

He bounded over when he saw me. "Fray! It's an unusual sight seeing you here. I feel 16 again. Hey Iz," he added shyly.

When she full finally looked up at Simon for the first time in weeks, her face went blank and the doe eyes appeared. "Why are you here?"

I watched the awkward conversation play out between then both, but I was more distracted by my stomach growling followed by an intense hunger throb roll through it. We didn't end up stopping for food so all I had had since lunch was a coffee and an apple.

"Clary? Clary? Hello?!"

I snapped to attention and looked at Isabelle, a small smile playing on her lips. "What's wrong," I ask. Simon was still here so nothing major must have happened to send him or her for the hills.

"I said I'm going to head to the sushi train down the street with Simon. You don't mind me ditching our cute warbler date here, do you?" Her eyes implored me to say no.

I shook my head and smiled. "No you go ahead. I'm just going to finish my coffee and head back to the Institute. The boys should be home soon. Text me if you need anything."

She grinned and picked up her bag, standing beside Simon. "Are you sure you don't mind? Did you want me to bring any food back for you?"

"Only if its caramel pancakes from Taki's, then no- I'll be fine," I said. Izzy's grinned widened and she gave me two swift kisses on each cheek. Something good must have been said while I wasn't paying attention to them. I waved them off and went back to my coffee. I gave Jace a text telling him what had happened, knowing full well he wouldn't get it until he was on his way home but it was the thought that counted. I swallowed the last dregs of my coffee and got up. A severe shooting pain went through my abdomen, worse than the pains before. I bent to get my bags off the floor, and whimpered. I managed to get out the door of Java Jones to the shade cover over the doorway,the rain pelting down, before I felt it. That feeling that gives away what is about to go down in the next day.

The warm feeling of water trickling down my legs.

* * *

**FINALLY!**

**Ideas, love and tea appreciated through reviews! Well I'm off to finish an update on Destination: Australia so farewell for now!**

**Bowvs. xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Happy Monday everyone. Nothing like some fluff and drama to kickstart your week, I say! And now let us all put on a sickly sweet playlist and read on... **

* * *

**10:36 PM.**

_Isabelle_

Peace. That's what I felt. My chest no longer felt constricted and my breathing no longer hitched at the thought of him.

Simon.

I closed my eyes, smiling to myself as I listened to the rattle of the subway around me. Not even the perverted stares or incessant chatter in the car could annoy me currently as I floated in my own bubble of happiness. His words to me at the sushi train came back to me and I hummed in content.

_"Izzy, I'm Simon," he said placing his chopsticks on the table and fiddling nervously instead with the soy sauce, "I'm ignorant, I'm stubborn, I'm blind to feelings of actual attraction unless I don't want it but that's how we all are at times right? You caught me off guard the other day. Hell, you catch me off guard every time I see you. You're just so...unexpected, but in a good way! You're unique Isabelle. You're fierce and gentle, you're strong and vulnerable, reckless and responsible...you are the best type of person because you feel everything equally and that makes you my favourite person. I love everything about you. You keep my heart beating like it had never stopped and I wish I had told you all this earlier but I just couldn't find the words. You're indescribable and everything at the same time and I hope we never have to go through the last month ever again. I love you, Isabelle Lightwood; simply and intricately."_

I remembered how I had started to cry after that. So much in fact that the attendee at the counter had given us a free pot of tea to try and shut me up. I laid my cheek against the cool window, thinking about nothing except for how Simon's lips felt on mine; the feel of his hands in my hair as he rubbed his nose along the length of mine, a permanent smile on his face mirroring my own.

A violent vibration from my purse snapped me from my memories. I hastily grabbed my phone out in hope it was Simon regardless we'd only just separated at the station. I open my message box to find three missed calls and five texts. Wow, how to neglect a phone with Isabelle Lightwood, everyone! I quickly scrolled through the messages and my smile dropped.

Sender: Clary H.

(9:37PM) _Water broke. Help!_

(9:45PM) _Izzy, ring me back as soon as you get this. No one is answering their phones._

(9:51PM)_ Izzy I need you ASAP! In a cab to Beth Israel now. Contractions are 7 minutes apart and Jace isn't answering._

Sender: Jocelyn F.

(10:20PM)_ Isabelle, where r u? Do u know where the boys r? Jocelyn._

(10:41PM)_ I still can't get onto Jace or Alec. Call when u get this. Jocelyn._

SHIT.

So at that point, I reckon I'm the worst godmother and best friend ever.

When the subway pulls up, I practically shove the crowd out of my way with one hand and dial Jocelyn back with the other. I can't believe this! Clary went into labour and probably just after I left her alone at Java Jones too!

She doesn't pick up so I leave a message saying that I was on my way to the hospital. I send a quick message through to Simon if he's heard anything and start running up the street in hope of finding a taxi as I go.

* * *

**10:52PM**

_Simon_

Sender: Izzy

(10:44PM) _Si! Have you talked to Clary or Jocelyn? On my way to the Beth Israel now. xx_

Funny thing was I had. I had just gotten off the phone where Jocelyn had frantically questioned me to the whereabouts of everyone as I scrambled for a cab. Trust them to pick the hospital furthest from Alphabet city. However it couldn't stop my excitement that my best friend was about to welcome a baby into the world. Isabelle cooed over the mere idea of having a baby around; she won't be cooing when Clary puts her on babysitting duties I'm sure.

I text Isabelle back saying I was on my way and if she knew where Jace was. Apparently Clary was a nervous wreck under the anaesthetic and the contractions were getting closer together.

My thoughts wandered to Isabelle. Would she be upset if we could never have our own family? She knew about the sterilized condition vampires carried from day 1 of the transformation. Maybe she'd leave me. I grimaced at the thought. I would spend the rest of my existence in eternal night if she left. Well that would have been true regardless if I wasn't a Daylighter, but still.

"Sir, sorry to bother but there's been an accident up ahead. This traffic isn't going anywhere soon."

I sigh. From the most amazing night to the worst luck ever, I threw a twenty through the partition and climbed out of the cab murmuring my thanks. I was about five blocks from the hospital which would take me no time at all if vampire speed was an option. I sent Alec a brief warning not to take this route and set off at a jog.

* * *

**11:12PM**

_Alec_

Sender: Simon Lewis

(11:12PM) _Alec, its Simon. Don't take 2nd Avenue. Traffic at a standstill. Meet you guys at the hospital._

An earlier warning may have been more helpful but it wasn't the Daylighter's fault that the standstill had creeped onto 23rd and was blocking our own attempts to get there in time. I looked over at Jace, his brow in a permanent crinkle of worry as he stared out the window.

"Dude, we may as well walk. We aren't going anywhere anytime soon," I said, motioning for him to get out. I passed the money forward to the driver, wishing him luck getting out of this mess. We hastily walked down the street avoiding the late night crowd heading to their various destinations throughout the city. I noted as we walked that Jace had kept a confused look on his face though I let it go. He was probably anxious; who knows? Generally I was pretty good at reading people but with Jace nothing had ever been easy.

He'd been my best friend since I'd been 10. With only family around me, it was a change having another boy around the house. Jace challenged me and understood just how annoying Isabelle was at that time. Seriously, she was a whiner at age 7 and it pissed me off to no end as much as I loved her.

"Okay Jace what's going on? Clary will be fine-" I started but he cut me off with a look. It wasn't one that said '_Piss off_', but more one that accompanied the doe eyes.

"Jace? What's wrong?"

But he stayed silent. I dropped my line of questioning and kept my eyes on the pavement. As much as we were Parabatai, I had always been the one to give up first; to hide my feelings and to give in. I wasn't strong and I hated myself for that. I frowned and looked back over at Jace. He was still conflicted. As much as I hated my weak self, I couldn't let him wallow. I'd seen it before so many years ago when we'd first met Clary and I couldn't bear seeing him like this.

"JACE, SNAP OUT OF IT! Seriously!" I snapped at him, putting a hand on his chest and bringing him to a standstill. He looks up at me and his face hardens, his brow line deepening.

"Come on Alec, let's just get there." He swatted my hand away and went to keep walking, but I stood in front of him again.

"No. Not until you tell me what's going on. You haven't been like this in years and now your wife is in labour and you bust out the 'I'm so torn, pity me please but not really' look. Hell, man up! You're about to be a dad for the Angel's sake!"

"Alec-"

But I ignored him and kept ranting. "No, don't Alec me. You should be ecstatic! Do you know what I would give to be a dad? Magnus and I have been looking at adoption but it's too crazy to bring a child into our lives, but you- you got the easy life Jace as much as Valentine was a bastard to you. What do you think you're going to be a shitty father or something?"

He sighed. "Yeah," he whispered.

My mind snapped back into comfort mode in an instant. "Jace, I- I didn't realise-"

He shrugged and started to walk again and I followed behind him for a couple of paces before coming up beside him. We stayed in silence for a few blocks until the hospital came into view and Jace stopped, looking at it with a sad look on his face.

"Alec, I just-... I don't know. I am excited, but the fear I guess is out-weighing it. What if Clary doesn't want this life anymore because of the kid? I just can't leave it, but I can't be without her in it either," he said. I gave him a grimace and raised an eyebrow.

"You seriously think Clary would up and leave you? I'm pretty sure after all the crap you guys have been put through that she wouldn't even think of it. However I'm pretty sure she is nervous as hell without you in there with her. She loves you, bro, and I wouldn't doubt that for a second. Also the little spitfire would never let you be a bastard of a dad."

A small smile crept over his face. "I guess so."

I let out a sarcastic huff. "I know so. Serious, she'd kick your ass. Now come on, let's go in."

* * *

**11:47PM**

_Jace_

I'm in a daze. The world around me seems to be going in slow motion and a blur at the same time; the actions of the crowd around me a muffled background of sound. The only sound perfectly clear to me is my footsteps as Alec and I cross the street to the doors of the Beth Israel Hospital.

I've never felt like this. Well maybe once but I don't know what to expect and that's what scares me. I know it's going to change my life forever but the unknown is too great to comprehend. The anxiousness has finally outweighed reality and the excitement I feel deep down. She will pull me through. She always does. Ever since we had met, she has pulled me through. A smile or a laugh would make me the happiest man alive at just the sight or sound. I couldn't imagine my life without her in it anymore; I didn't want to.

Alec briefly spoke to one of the nurses at the desk while I stared down the long hall, unfocused, watching people rush in and out of doors, some carrying flowers, others crying and holding each other for support. Hospitals had never been something I had experience with, only the infirmary at the Institute or in Alicante. My kind accepted the idea of injury easily compared to mundane considering the type of life we lived but a mass residence of the sick and injured was unfamiliar to me. I hated the fact that Jocelyn insisted on this place but having warlocks in the public health system made me feel better.

Alec pulled me by the arm down the corridor, veering off down another and another. I had to snap out of this. Clary needed me and I needed her. I hated that she would be in so much pain and there was nothing I could do about it. He stopped outside a door, and motioned for me to go in ahead. I swallowed and opened the door, slipping inside.

She looked so small and pale against the white sheets, tendrils of hair sticking to the sides of her face so vivid it looked like blood at first. She was looking down at a bundle of blankets in Jocelyn's arms, a weak smile on her face. Jocelyn and Clary both looked up at the sound of the door shutting behind Alec and I.

"Jace!" Clary said hoarsely, breaking the silence that had only been filled by the soft beep of the heart monitor. The haze over my emotions broke and I raced to her side, clasping her hand and kissing her gently.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be here, we got stuck-" I started, but she chuckled silencing me.

"We know. Everyone else did too so don't worry. It wasn't the most convenient of timing but what can you do? But it's okay now; do you want to meet your son?" She smiled.

She motioned for Jocelyn to pass her the bundle and my breath caught. "Son?"

Inside, now cradled in Clary's arms, was the most adorable baby I'd ever seen (even though I'm meant to think that right?).

I turned to mush. I brushed my thumb over his tiny fore head and smiled. I felt Alec's hand on my shoulder as he watched over the scene.

"He's a fighter just like his dad," Clary cooed, "He pushed through the minor complication, thankfully without breaking any of my bones like last time he felt like kicking." I grimaced at the memory of Clary falling limp to the fall from the swift kick he'd given her to the ribs during the pregnancy.

"You're okay now, though, love?" I asked. She nodded and looked up at me.

"He has your eyes and your cheekbones. Probably your hair too, but it looks a little dark," she smiled. "Hi Alec, sorry for ignoring you. Thanks for getting Jace here in one piece."

Alec chuckled. "No offence taken. It was a tough job but someone had to do it."

Clary motioned for me to take the baby. He was so small I felt like I could crush him with the tiniest of movements. I smiled as he opened his eyes; my eyes. Despite my dominant features, I'm pretty sure he would have Clary's stubborn set jaw and half-eyebrows.

"I want to go with the name you picked last week Clary," I said suddenly, "it would suit him perfectly."

She smiled again. She couldn't seem to stop tonight but then again, neither could I now I was here with our future in my arms however tiny he was.

"What did you guys end up settling on?" Jocelyn asked.

Clary looked at me with a questioning look and I nodded, answering her. "Ben," she said pausing ever so slightly, "Benjamin Maxwell Heron dale." Her eyes suddenly went glassy and I kissed her forehead.

"He's beautiful," I whispered. I looked over at Alec, his face conveying the emotion that his words wouldn't and I knew he was picturing Max. "Here, Alec, You hold him."

He hesitated but made his way over and took Ben in his arms regardless. It was easy to see that he melted as well as I had, a feeling that I knew would reoccur through the entire family. I took Clary's hand again, sitting on the side of her bed. She leaned her head on my arm and sighed.

"This is just another beginning again, isn't it?" She said to no one in particular, but everyone nodded in agreement.

"Just another chapter," I murmured in her ear setting off her grin again. The shadows under her eyes told of her tiredness underneath her joy, but she was determined to stay awake especially as the door opened again as a puffing Isabelle and less-so Simon burst through the door.

"Clary!" Isabelle cried as she finally regain her breath, "I'm so sorry I missed all of your texts! I ran-"

"I can tell. You look like a Ravener was at your heels or something," I said to her.

Clary laughed. "It's okay. Nobody made it here on time, so your apology is falling on deaf ears."

Simon came over kissed Clary on the forehead and then looked around. "I hope you're okay, Clare-bear. Where is...?"

"Hey Si, I'm fine and it's a he. Alec has Benjamin over in the corner chair."

Both Simon and Isabelle turn to look at Alec who was quietly cooing over Ben quite happily. Isabelle dropped to her knees beside him, and looked over his arm. Alec whispered something in her ear and she immediately had tears in her eyes. She kissed Ben on the forehead and made her way over to us. She hugged me tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice cracking through her tears. I smiled at her and kissed her on the forehead before she turned to hug Clary gently.

"We couldn't have picked a better middle name," Clary said, "If Ben grows up to be half the boy Max was, I'll be as proud as ever."

Isabelle stroked Clary's cheek, before turning to Jocelyn. "Thanks for keeping me updated Jocelyn. It meant a lot."

Jocelyn nodded. "That's alright. Now if everyone is settled, I'm going outside to call Luke to tell him the good news." She gave Clary's hand a squeeze and with that, she was out the door. Simon brought Ben, closely followed by Alec, over to Isabelle to hold and again like everyone else, she melted at the sight of him.

"Damn, Fray, you and Jace made a fabulous kid," Simon said, "He's not even crying."

He wrapped an arm around Isabelle and kissed the side of her forehead as she continued to rock Ben gently. She looked up at us. "Does he have the star mark on his shoulder?"

I hadn't even thought of that. I looked to Clary and she nodded. "Clear as day," she said, snuggling back against my arm.

I smiled and looked around at my family, both old and new. This was home to me. As long as they were here, I'd never be alone. And now with Ben in the picture, I couldn't wait for the future. It was an awfully big step, but Clary and I could handle it. I had no doubt in my mind now. And as Alec said, she'd kick my ass if I thought otherwise.

I looked at the time: 12:24AM.

A new day and the first of many Ben would see in his life. I kissed Clary on her temple, pushing her strands of her hair off her face, her eyelids drooping finally. I couldn't wait to share those new days with both of them: my family.

* * *

**THE FEELS! But really, any feedback, ideas or nutella is appreciated to keep the fluff and drama llamas going. Want to see a particular scene? I'll write it just let me know!**

** Ciao for now, cupcakes!**

**Bowvs. xx**

**(PS. I'm considering a new fic, still TMI, about life with roommates which could prove interesting.)**


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